I understand where you are coming from, but I'm willing to bet that those men who are willing to do the work are not just rare exceptions. Of course, those who only go by the looks of a woman, are not doing themselves or their partner a favour. They'll find out soon enough. The acid test every couple should go through before they tie the knot is to check the compatibility of friends and hobbies.

Do they enjoy doing the same things and spending their time with the same type of people and in the same type of settings? That's for most couples hugely important, because each partner has their separate job/work which keeps them apart for most of the day. If they aren't compatible in what they enjoy during their leisure time, they will inevitably drift apart. When I met my wife 35 years ago, we talked until the wee hours, we spent all our time together, and I found out very quickly that she wasn't into playing tennis for example because she has a slight coordination problem. I had played tennis for close to 20 years. So, I decided to discontinue playing tennis because I didn't want us to have separate circles of activities and the friends that come with them.

On the other hand, my wife was adventurous enough to follow me to live in foreign countries to which my then employer seconded me. Even before we married.

And, most importantly, she was willing to be my motorcycle riding partner. These are just two examples, but they illustrate why we are still really happily together after 35 years.