I 98% agree with you, Adrian. To be more "wholesome" and less judgmental is a desirable objective. The 2% refer to the fact that "tough love", the "get over it" have their place in a loving relationship, too. When you see your partner making their life unnecessarily miserable by their inability to get over something that just needs a little change in perspective, it's one's loving duty to help one's partner to nudge that perspective. I know, the line that separates this scenario from the insensitive ones that you describe is a fine one. The experience and skill to recognize that line comes with age and with being sensitive enough.